"Eats shoots and leaves."

""But," the dog replied, "That would make no sense at all." "

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He says that it can play any musical instrument in the world.

"May I ask what the chicken did?"

"Wow!" ..."A talking dog."

"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread."

Silence.