BERRY87: almost doesn't count
lubcha132: except in horseshoes and hand grenades

BERRY87: a whole article on the subject......"some people say its even more entertaining, spiritually uplifting, and sexually gratifying then a trip to the dentist"

lubcha132: trust me some of the people there this morning were complete am ha'aretz
lubcha132: so itsn ot that
DolphnLuv9: what l;anguage is that
lubcha132: heeb
DolphnLuv9: no not that im not a retard like u think
DolphnLuv9: "lubcha132: so itsn ot that"
lubcha132: its not
DolphnLuv9: yea w/e

DARKPHANTOM125: oo im not sick anymore
lubcha132: cool
lubcha132: i won't kiss you for at least two weeks (by weeks i mean lifetimes) tho
DARKPHANTOM125: fair enough

lubcha132: i don't get allowance
Kitkatcrazy667: i think we should go on strike
lubcha132: that's why i don't get allowance

pedro martinez and redd foxx (fred sanford)
separated at birth?

MILFORD, Conn. - The baseball flies off Edward Hoff III's bat with such force that he's the Babe Ruth of his league. The problem, league officials say, is that the ball is flying toward children 12 to 15 years old.

genius at work

Man Steals ID of Sex Offender

BEIJING (Reuters) - China has banned commercials for feminine hygiene products and hemorrhoid ointments and other items deemed unappetizing during meal times, local media said on Thursday.

Was that ice cream they're selling?

Act II:
Auto response from DolphnLuv9: RABIES RABIES WE LOVE RABIES! NO I DONT FOAM

BERRY87: we could make up aramaic insults
lubcha132: ana patimna v'at tumtum?
lubcha132: i fattened it and you are of an unknown sex?

lubcha132: are we on for tomorrow?
Bling2xx: definatly
lubcha132: my house or yours
Bling2xx: w/e u want my master
lubcha132: lol
lubcha132: in that case, we're robbing a bank
lubcha132: there was once this guy who walked into a bank, handed the teller a note that said "this is a stick up give me all your 10s 20s and 30s"
lubcha132: true story
Bling2xx: reallly
lubcha132: yeah
Bling2xx: did he get away
lubcha132: all i know is he didn't get the 30s
Bling2xx: haha why not
lubcha132: i can't imagine
Bling2xx: thats funnuy
lubcha132: it is
lubcha132: the truth is, if you have to make your living being a bank robber you're probably not that bright
Bling2xx: yeah thats true
lubcha132: smarter than the guys who try to grab the whol register from the 7-11

Bling2xx: u saw that on real tv
lubcha132: saw what
Bling2xx: takin the whole register
lubcha132: oh yeah
lubcha132: i also saw the gas station exploding on real tv
Bling2xx: thats awesome
lubcha132: and also the guy who got trampled during the horse race
lubcha132: a personal favorite
Bling2xx: mine is a guy who dint let his thing out on time u know those skydivers
lubcha132: or the boat that flew out of the water and landed on people
Bling2xx: cool
lubcha132: like people watch that show to be horrified
lubcha132: lol
Bling2xx: yeah

Auto response from DolphnLuv9: RABIES RABIES WE LOVE RABIES!

C aM eL fA cT: i am comin to ur house now to study
lubcha132: i'll shoot at you from an upstairs window
C aM eL fA cT: with wat

BNK2124: the pats defense is getting killed by injuries
lubcha132: that's a shame
BNK2124: lost rosevelt colvin for the season
lubcha132: LB?
BNK2124: after paying something like $38 million for him
BNK2124: yeah
lubcha132: wow
lubcha132: i'm sure he got his escalades
lubcha132: with the wheels that don't stop even tho you've parked the car and gone to bed
BNK2124: hahahaha

BERRY87: so this guy goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, "i have bad news for you...you have aids and alzehiemers" so the guy says, "hey, at least I don't have aids"
KGK1113: well hes an idiot

YoYaW87: your like my friendly neighbourhood weatherman! its so cool!

OnADiFErnTPlAnET: aww ur so cute its wen a teecher gets noked up by there husband and needs to take bed rest bc her baby is about 2 come out
OnADiFErnTPlAnET: in other words she is pregnant and cant deel w/ kids until she has 1
TiPmE39: mr speilmen noked her up? (sic)
OnADiFErnTPlAnET: oops i m very bad at explaining ok mr.spielman and mrs.speilman r married they have a kid and and i gess over the summer they were bored and had nothing better 2 do but u no get his wife pregnant
TiPmE39: .................................
OnADiFErnTPlAnET: and now she is pregnant and need s to rest a lot bc wen ur pregnant i gess u gota have a lot o rest i dont reely no i was never pregnant do u no how u get pregnant
TiPmE39: ...................................................................

Gt782: its only like a car missing its wheells
Gt782: no biggy

DolphnLuv9: whats jackie c's number
lubcha132: 6
DolphnLuv9: phone number
lubcha132: 1-732-6
DolphnLuv9: thanx

Dzel81: Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
lubcha132: ncie

MICHYLR: jonah had a baby!
lubcha132: the doctor must've been surprised

lubcha132: i don't like country music at all
lubcha132: but there's something about johnny cash
lubcha132: b/c its not twangy jolly crap

Johnny Cash
2/26/32-9/12/03

BERRY87: my fathers name means "deer"
lubcha132: oh is his name Deer?

lubcha132: admit that wasn't the worst joke i've made
BERRY87: its true, i've heard worse out of you...far, far worse

Kitkatcrazy667: krispies talk to u
lubcha132: they're saying "i'm drowning in this milk, save me"

DolphnLuv9: i hate the table cloth
DolphnLuv9: were not friends

``He walked away from $4 million to be with his wife and kids,'' his agent, Rich Winter said.

wow

NikeAir23000: hows this pickup line
NikeAir23000: "if i was the best guitarist in the world i would trade all my skills just to be with u"
lubcha132: well if you're trying to pick up a man
lubcha132: a gay man
lubcha132: who's gay

NikeAir23000: but honestly, its not a good pickup line?
lubcha132: ho ho no

Worship Kunz: oh Josh, if I was European i'd kiss you on both cheeks